Monday, July 21, 2014

It starts with a pet goldfish dying

We were in China and the tour guide was describing all the gruesome things that happen to you in chinese he'll.  like getting your butt cut off.  Some where along the line you drink a tea to forget about the Life you just finished living 


My mom asked me what I'd like to do in the next life, I said I wanted to be exactly the same 

She agreed this life is pretty nice, it'd be nice to live it again
I imagined us like horses a mama horse and a baby horse, with the same human thoughts but unable to speak them

We were sleeping in the floor of the excercise room because my room was being painted 

Somehow the question arose would you want to die before or after your pArents?

At the same time.  Yes, at the same time would be nice

Fear of being a contrived writer

What if you were anticipating the poop before you even tasted the food?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

On unhappy enemies

Fuck why don't you save to draft if I'm not finished?

While I certainly despise when my enemies are happy, unfortunately their despair brings me no joy.  It's as if their unhappiness undermines their evilness.  Which makes sense, it's less fun beating a mopey asshole than an arrogant one.  

It is embarrassing watching an asshole fall, I don't know why.  Perhaps because they have farther to fall, from the peak of their bullshit mountain.  De-antlered, de-maned, stumbling around as they attempt to recompose some semblance of a poker face.  I want to look the other way and pretend to not notice their swagger has been replaced with a stumbling shuffle. 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

On having a dog

A common philosophical robot question:  if a robot is comprised of all human parts and its output reads as kindness, morality, love, what separates it from being human? What is this ineffable mark of consciousness? 

And so I wonder about this golden retriever, Basil, about all golden retrievers.  She is so playful yet gentle, never barking lest she sees a animal she is not used to.  She sniffs a hen laying on her eggs without a single toothy swipe, sees a huddle if ducklings without chasing.  She always follows whoever is working outside, even if it is just to plop her body in the grass near you. If you go on a walk in the woods, she will follow. Although she doesn't play fetch, she doesn't even growl when I attempt to wrest the orange ball from her jaws ( though she does try to swipe my hand away with her paws.

She has all the trappings of a kind, compassionate, social soul.  But them I wonder, is it because man has engineered you to be this way? Are you being kindly because you are kind, or because you wouldn't know how to behave any other way? Do you crave social interaction, or simply programmed to lay near the closest warm body present ? Is your friendliness and loyalty to strangers the mark of a good host, or an instinctive action ? 


I look at her cuddly fluffy golden coat, the cute way she still looks like a puppy when she attempts to hold a bone between her two paws to gnaw on and think, dude, we created everything about you, your no aversion to humans, your adorable fluffy coat, and yet you are still your own creature, a living breathing animal.  Left to your own devices, you seem to have your own ideas about what to do.