Food Dreams

1. Nilla Wafer Banana Pudding
2. Neon Blue BlueBerry Bagel

Ugly Jewelry

I like a lot of Finn Jewelry's cheekiness, but these pieces really rub me the wrong way.

There's nothing special about them, and that's one annoying thing.  But the color of the gold matched with the particular color of the emeralds make them look especially like something from Macy's.  or Kay's Jewelers.

Rah-Rah Feminism

An over zealous bone-breaking  handshake declaring WE ARE FRIENDS

But like most instances of denial, it only brings attention to the undercurrent of competition, of the belief in a zero-sum game.  But the fact that women have to support other women is the other extreme of the same side of the sexism coin.  Not being friends does not have to equate being enemies. Supporting another woman for the mere fact that she is one still undermines her identity and accomplishments as a human, period. Sarah Palin does not equate Hilary Clinton.

It's cliched because it's true

It's the season of warm apple cider

Cider donuts

Hot showers that fog up the mirrors where you meditavely use sea scrubs 

Warm soft blankets and hot cocoa 

Llbean catalogs full of homely goods like cushy slippers and hand cranked popcorn machines 

Short bread cookies

Beanies

My boss says you have to find your niche and sometimes you have to whore yourself out a little.  Maybe you've moved on aesthetically, but your clients haven't.

My Most Successful Pieces

1. Pearl Necklace Ring

2.  Ear Earrings

3.  Ear Ring

4. Ear Ring Large

5. Monsieur Stack Set


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New Iterations

1. White Diamond Necklace Ring
2. Ruby Diamond Necklace Ring Oxidized
3. Fancy White Diamond Necklace Ring in Rose Gold
4. Gray Diamond Necklace Ring in Rose Gold
5. Black Diamond Necklace Ring in Rose Gold
6. Violet Gemstone Necklace Ring Ombre (Dark Violet to Light )
7.  Red Gemstone Necklace Ring (Dark Red to Light Red)
8.  Orange Gemstone Necklace Ring (Dark Orange to Light Orange)
9. Yellow Gemstone Necklace Ring (Dark Yellow to Light Yellow)
10.  Green Gemstone Necklace Ring (Dark Green to Light Green)
11. Blue Gemstone Necklace Ring (Dark Blue to Light Blue)
12.  Black Gemstone Neckalce Ring (Black to White)
13. Three Colors: Red Orange Yellow
14. Three Colors: Orange Yellow Green
15. Three Colors: Green Yellow Purple
16. Three Colors: Red Purple Blue
17. Sea Wave: Green, Blue, Green Blue

Desperate people are like viruses

They start of consistent, a nagging thorn, until they finally exhaust themselves and fade away.


But if there's ever a recurrence, it's stronger than ever.

Oh No You Didn't, You Creepy Old Man

I hope this doesn't come off humble-braggy, but I feel like I'm surrounded by super needy people lately.

It might be a little low self-esteem, where I feel that anyone that wants my time must be desperate and is therefore unworthy.  And I don't like being like that.  But I can't help feeling this wave of disgust and contemptuousness for all these people that demand my time.

Family members, who are bored and waiting for a partner and crime to do something

a lonely friend, who is willing to spend more money than I'm willing to on dinners.  My company is costing me.

Four different employers, with tasks that you can't just leave at "the office."



And then this jeweler that does some work for me.  I put up with him because he gives me super low prices because he thinks I'm cute, but it's a devil's bargain.  I thought he was just a nice oldish man, until he totally began violating the formality of service provider and customer.  I thought it was just a lost-in-translation thing that he kept addressing me by name in every text.  And then I was super creeped out.  From texting I miss you to shyly but insistently asking that I come by his booth every week.  No.  I don't even know you.  You don't fucking get to demand my time.  Fuck you. You creepy fuck.  I hate your salt and pepper ponytail, how you look like a fucking grandpa, how you look lost and nervous but yet think it's totally ok to demand my time.  How you don't feel ashamed at all. It makes me want to hurt you, to make you feel as pathetic as you look.

***


I know it is partly my fault for not wanting to hurt feelings, when these people probably aren't that needy at all, it's because I don't turn them down that they feel like they can keep pulling.  I've slowly been more honest though, about my interests, about my budget.   I should be more honest, because it's an ugly tug-of-war feeling resentment for always being stuck being the "good guy" and fear of guilt if I'm not the "good guy." It always ends in disaster.

And I know the tide always turns and next thing I know, I'll be the one desperate for company, or money.