Monday, July 21, 2014

It starts with a pet goldfish dying

We were in China and the tour guide was describing all the gruesome things that happen to you in chinese he'll.  like getting your butt cut off.  Some where along the line you drink a tea to forget about the Life you just finished living 


My mom asked me what I'd like to do in the next life, I said I wanted to be exactly the same 

She agreed this life is pretty nice, it'd be nice to live it again
I imagined us like horses a mama horse and a baby horse, with the same human thoughts but unable to speak them

We were sleeping in the floor of the excercise room because my room was being painted 

Somehow the question arose would you want to die before or after your pArents?

At the same time.  Yes, at the same time would be nice

Fear of being a contrived writer

What if you were anticipating the poop before you even tasted the food?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

On unhappy enemies

Fuck why don't you save to draft if I'm not finished?

While I certainly despise when my enemies are happy, unfortunately their despair brings me no joy.  It's as if their unhappiness undermines their evilness.  Which makes sense, it's less fun beating a mopey asshole than an arrogant one.  

It is embarrassing watching an asshole fall, I don't know why.  Perhaps because they have farther to fall, from the peak of their bullshit mountain.  De-antlered, de-maned, stumbling around as they attempt to recompose some semblance of a poker face.  I want to look the other way and pretend to not notice their swagger has been replaced with a stumbling shuffle. 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

On having a dog

A common philosophical robot question:  if a robot is comprised of all human parts and its output reads as kindness, morality, love, what separates it from being human? What is this ineffable mark of consciousness? 

And so I wonder about this golden retriever, Basil, about all golden retrievers.  She is so playful yet gentle, never barking lest she sees a animal she is not used to.  She sniffs a hen laying on her eggs without a single toothy swipe, sees a huddle if ducklings without chasing.  She always follows whoever is working outside, even if it is just to plop her body in the grass near you. If you go on a walk in the woods, she will follow. Although she doesn't play fetch, she doesn't even growl when I attempt to wrest the orange ball from her jaws ( though she does try to swipe my hand away with her paws.

She has all the trappings of a kind, compassionate, social soul.  But them I wonder, is it because man has engineered you to be this way? Are you being kindly because you are kind, or because you wouldn't know how to behave any other way? Do you crave social interaction, or simply programmed to lay near the closest warm body present ? Is your friendliness and loyalty to strangers the mark of a good host, or an instinctive action ? 


I look at her cuddly fluffy golden coat, the cute way she still looks like a puppy when she attempts to hold a bone between her two paws to gnaw on and think, dude, we created everything about you, your no aversion to humans, your adorable fluffy coat, and yet you are still your own creature, a living breathing animal.  Left to your own devices, you seem to have your own ideas about what to do.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Meat

One of those days where I'm overpowered by hunger with no consideration to mindfulness. Just want to consume everything meaty and fatty 

Shake shack burger with cheese fries 

Cuban Fried pork and plantain sandwich from Tina's 

Baohaus buns the pork belly and fried chicken 


Monday, June 2, 2014

Shit Kids Say

6 year old boy picks up a tiny marker: this is my golf marker! You know how there are golf pencils? Well this is my golf marker.

Mom taking pictures of the class: I'm not gonna take pictures of you if you look at me
Her son: Stop looking at my mom!

4 year old girl: I'm going to punch you in the penis

4 year old girl after I told her not to jump down from the couch: You know I can fight you

4 year old girl: do you poop or pee
Me:  both
2 year old: I do everything 

4 year old: one day were going to have a baby brother 
2 year old : and a horse and a cat

2 year old, to me: I'm being nice to you

2 year old: Why did your mom give you the necklace
Me: Because she likes me
2 year old: Oh
2 year old: Your mommy loves you and gives you cake

2 year old, to me: You're such a baby

2 year old: Look I know how to do this it's a ballerina it's beautiful!

2 year old: My name is chubby wubby one day I had a fast dad and slow down dad!

5 year old: Umm, I do not like soup. I eat chicken.  My mom doesn't like chicken she just eats salad

Mom: You don't want to share? You had so many!
4 year old: But I wanted more!
Mom: ok after dinner
4 year old: No! Now gimme it now! Gimme it now! Throw it up!

2 year old: Mama has short nails short nails

Me: This baby has a big butt
2 year old : That is so funny that is really funny (but she doesn't laugh)


Dream Diary Post 15

Walking to a swimming lesson late at night through the neighborhood passing by SUVs and owners climbing out of them and the occasional sprinkler.  I'm in the kids pool at the Y and it's filled with the echoes of screeching children and squeaky flip flops.  This girl is demonstrating how if you crouch down under the water and stay there you can die.  Nobody dies

Finding someone's smashed Iphone 5 on the floor in the sitting room next to a bundle of  just-washed marroon socks  in the corner next to a wooden chair with a rattan seat just like the one in the Van gogh's Chair painting.

Shuffling back and forth between the bedroom to the kitchen a pot of beans is on the stove in the 70's style house where the floors are terra-cotta colored stone tiles framed in a criss-cross of dirty grout, and there's that  musty curtain ruffle above the windows. I  was trying to make sure all the doors are closed before I take a shower, but I kept running into people.  The doors were painted teal, forest green, and brown.  The murky corner of the spectrum.