Reasons/Excuses

I love how people point to an cultural defining trait as the reason that they "always anticipate the worst" or "take success with a grain of salt" or whatever other slew of cautious-about-life cliches.  But really, anyone can do it.  I'm Chinese. I'm from The South.  I'm from LA.  I'm Jewish.  I'm Catholic.  I'm from Manhattan.  I'm Polish.  The listener(s) always nod in acknowledgement of this apparently culturally unique characteristic, as if it explains everything.  But it does not, obviously.  I think people should just say "well I'm human so..."

five.

The number of times a certain professor has worn purple this semester.  I think my favorite article(s) of clothing were his violet argyle socks.  But the periwinkle pashmina was a nice touch.

Psych Experiment Day 1/How to Annoy an Uptight Person on a Budget

Name: Lawrence Oswald
Stimulus: Clicking Pen
Number of Clicks before subject snapped: 6
Time: 3 seconds

Sorry for Abandoning You Poor Baby

Dear Blog,

I've put you in the back of my mind, figuring that when something popped into my head worthy(ha) to talk about, I'd find my way back to you again.  But then quite a few days passed and...nothing.  And I figured if I didn't take some initiative, you'd end up being one of my many half-finished (more like a 1/10 finished) journals I have amassed over the years, starting with my second grade diary that I started because I wanted to be like Anne Frank (and that sounds even more horrible when I see it typed out) to the dumb "lifebooks" that we were forced to fill in middle school to now where I taint pretty journals just because the idea of writing is "romantic." O dear lifebooks.  I thought it was utterly stupid to be forced to write--thought it was akin to be forced to create art (though not as dramatic)--nothing could be more contradictory--though I now realize I was being utterly stupid.  But what I still think was obnoxious was that we were made to decorate these journals to "express ourselves." What if I was just a blank personality and I wanted my plain marbled composition notebook to reflect that. Maybe I'm just boring.  Maybe i had no interest in anything besides Q-tips and Post-its. I lost quite a few easy points because of my meek stubbornness.  Tempest in a teapot? Most definitely.  Anyways, sorry for not keeping in touch lately.  I promise to be less MIA.  Actually, not really, since I still hate writing.

See you soon,

Kristy

Someday #3

Someday I will have a canoe in my room to be used as a seating apparatus just like that time in Friends when Chandler and Joey were robbed.  Except they were a lot less happy about having a cool canoe to sit in.  Grass is always greener...

What's in a name

Apparently, if I don't remember someone's name, I make one up for them in my head. Or maybe I'm just really bad with names/have copious amounts of earwax. Anyways, when I realize their real names, it's completely mind-blowing and of course my names for them are always much more fitting. Man, their parents should have consulted me before sticking their spawn with totally wrong monikers.

Examples.

1. girl I thought was named Jennifer (said with a hard J, not sung as in Jennifer Juniper): real name--Ann(e). Totally wrong, she's short but totally sturdy looking with matching unamused/aggressive personality. So not delicate Anne...

2. girl I thought was named Justine: real name--Evelyn. Umm, she's loud, brash and slightly obnoxious, with matching too- dark tan and  bracelets coating her forearms. not some 50s WASP with a blonde perm.

3. Dude I thought was named Billy: real name Ben. Ben? Is such a goody-goody if slightly mischevious-but-charms-all-the-teachers kinda name. Or the name of some tall dude that don't talk much. This dude is a downright chattering buttmunch full of jokes that aren't funny and slightly racist. SOUNDS LIKE A BILLY TO ME (sorry other Billys).


These poor kids. Destined to wander through life with a pseudonym and they don't even know it...

Let's be Passive Aggressive/Boys and Girls, Girls and Boys

I love how when one female says to another female "oh_____, I love you," it could be the greatest diss in the world.  Same with "Haha OMG, you're so cute!"

I also love when people make it look like they're about to say something and then sigh dramatically and  go "oh...nevermind" and then either keep on fake mumbling to themselves to try to get you to ask "WHAT." or act like a martyr for not voicing their backhanded compliment aloud.  Gee, thanks for  being so considerate.

And it's just super awesome when you're having stifled conversation and he/she snickers at every answer you say.  WHAT, WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT CROCHETING POTHOLDERS IN MY SPARE TIME?

Recently, I was reading Medea, and of course the plot/main source of conflict was the apparent differences between a man and a woman. No, this isn't biology class, stop giggling, I'm talking about the other difference. How, apparently, Jason, was the epitome of masculinity because of his supposed rationality, which was most expertly displayed through his eloquent speeches. And tomboy Medea could never be like that, no matter how much she tried because of the typical womanly wiles which made her all pms-y and emotional and stuff (What kind of wuss gets emotional and angry when her husband abandons her for another woman and subsequently leaves her to be a social outcast?) , the same excuses that kept Mrs. Clinton from being the head of the White House 'cause God FORBID she decided to launch a nuclear war or something because it was that time of the month (yeah yeah there were other reasons but this isn't a political rant--not that I'm capable of that anyways).

But then I was thinking, this is SO UNTRUE. Hello, if you've ever been a female between the ages of 4 and 89, you'd know that girls are queen of squashing the lesser with bullying demagoguery. And that boys are the ones that let their testosterone-y emotions get the better of them and start giving each other black eyes while girls can do the same thing verbally and emotionally while smiling the WHOLE time. Who's the more "rational" sex now, huh?

Not that it's anything to brag about, either way, it's a real catch-22 for ladies. No matter which situation it is, boys are made out to be the cool kids that everyone wants to be: they're either calm and logical, or adorably, endearingly, simple. Not so for the girls-- we're either the weaker sex, or the evil sex, yay, it's hard to decide which one is more awesome.