What's in a name

Apparently, if I don't remember someone's name, I make one up for them in my head. Or maybe I'm just really bad with names/have copious amounts of earwax. Anyways, when I realize their real names, it's completely mind-blowing and of course my names for them are always much more fitting. Man, their parents should have consulted me before sticking their spawn with totally wrong monikers.

Examples.

1. girl I thought was named Jennifer (said with a hard J, not sung as in Jennifer Juniper): real name--Ann(e). Totally wrong, she's short but totally sturdy looking with matching unamused/aggressive personality. So not delicate Anne...

2. girl I thought was named Justine: real name--Evelyn. Umm, she's loud, brash and slightly obnoxious, with matching too- dark tan and  bracelets coating her forearms. not some 50s WASP with a blonde perm.

3. Dude I thought was named Billy: real name Ben. Ben? Is such a goody-goody if slightly mischevious-but-charms-all-the-teachers kinda name. Or the name of some tall dude that don't talk much. This dude is a downright chattering buttmunch full of jokes that aren't funny and slightly racist. SOUNDS LIKE A BILLY TO ME (sorry other Billys).


These poor kids. Destined to wander through life with a pseudonym and they don't even know it...