Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Emotional State

Cried after realizing I was 12 minutes too late to order a lobster roll for delivery because they closed at 8.

After a slightly annoying day--the kind with little prickly annoyances that build up, I lost it.

And it was like fuck, how much was a suppressing that missing the deadline for ordering dinner made me break down and cry? Did my fucking boss annoy me that much?

Fuck it was like that time that I  had to deal with asshole customers and I thought my manager saw me yell at a co-worker (who deserved it) and thinking about it the whole time and a manager asking if I was ok and then finally crying when another manager asked me if I was ok.  And I wasn't.  I fucking wasn't.

How can I stop bottling emotions if I don't even know I do it?  Until it's too late?

I am like that magical negro in green mile, but in a bad way, I soak up other people's feelings to things and then react the same way they do.

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