I Don't Fuck With You

Warning, teenage rant ahead.

maybe it's crazy to finally come to this realization at the ripe old age of 24, but I finally have a modicum of self-esteem that I don't care what assholes think about me.


Okay, if I'm being obnoxious, rude, or a downright asshole myself, I will take heed (or I should take heed).

But if you don't like me because of my voice, I'm ugly,  I smell, you think I'm dumb, I'm lame, whatever.  Fuck you, I don't fuck with you, I don't give a fuck about you.  Because if you're asshole enough to voice this opinion to your "friends" you're broken inside. I don't want to deal with you anyway.


And fuck the "friends" that tell me their "friends" don't like me.

I remember there was this one asshole girl (who was a friend, but also mad insecure running her mouth about everyone) who was like I heard some bad things about you Kristy, and they were so mean *fake concerned laugh* they were so mean...

And because I had no self-confidence, it sent my stomach spinning imaging what people are saying about me--the worst things I could think about myself...shit did other people thing it too? Notice it too? Fuck!  And so I tried to play it cool but then I nagged her and nagged her trying to guess who it was while she just shook her head like the martyr she pretended to be...I fell right into her trap.


But now, I don't care.  I'm short, so what? I'm Asian, so what? I have a high, soft, voice, so what? I'm an awkward weirdo, so what? If I'm trying, or if it's not anything I can change, I don't give a fuck what you think.


That's not to say an insult doesn't sting.  Of course my feelings are still hurt if you say any I'm socially awkward, my face messed up.  But I'm able to recognize that my feelings are hurt, and let it wash it over me, and know that the insulter is more fucked up than the insultee, and that this too soon shall pass.