Sunday, December 8, 2013

Shit Kids Say

So most of these aren't as funny when transcribed.  Some of them probably aren't funny at all.  Which makes me feel like those moms that tells everyone the hilarious thing their kid said at dinner last night when you just want to be like okay...so you mean he said a sentence?

   You had to be there.  You had to see their innocent little faces, the sincerity in their voices.  What kills me is when even the most buttfaced little child has these moments of sincerity.  After all the screaming and rudeness and sass, they're still little babies.  They're not trying to be funny, they're just figuring their way around this little thing called Life. 

____

7 year old: well you said to tape every single part
Me: no I didn't.  I said just to tape it around the CD
7 year old: well I thought you said to tape every single part
5 year old: Samantha, you just wanted to do it your own way

5 year old playing teacher tries to read a book to her brother and me while we make silly faces: Kristy, you keep pushing it and pushing it and pushing it!
4 year old: (whispering) please keep pushing it

4 year old: Can I eat the slime ?
Me : No! Why would you want to eat it? It's part of our experiment! It'll taste bad!
5 minutes later
4 year old: Can I eat it ?
Me: Sure, go ahead
4 year old: Nooooooo. Wait... should I ?

6 year old: Guess what! I lost my tooth yesterday
Me: Ooh cool! Can I see? Did you get any money?
6 year old: Yeah, I got 40 dollars
Me: 40 dollars ?! you mean...40 cents? are you sure it wasn't like 5 dollars? 
6 year old: Well...I got two dollars under my pillow, and both of them said 20 on them
Me: your MOM gave you 40 dollars for your tooth?!
6 year old: Nooooooooooo.  The toothfairy did.
Me: Oh, sorry--the TOOTH FAIRY gave you 40 dollars for your tooth?!
6 year old: Uh huh. 

Me: oh my god... 
3 year old: why did you say "Alright, Bob?"

3 year old: hold on, I want to touch this balloon for a minute...ooh it's sooo soft

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